It’s a wonderful, wonderful life…

I wonder how the change happens. One minute carefree young woman, the next a wife and a mother with a house full of sleeping people that she is so intricately connected with that even the thought if not being with them (although life would seen to be much more straightforward without them) physically hurts. I love my children with that slightly obsessive, demented sort of love that is everything, all-consuming and wholly unconditional but ever so slightly unhinged… (I sometimes worry that I will be that mother who shouts at other people’s children for not being nice to hers) a love that I could never have expected I would feel because I didn’t know it existed. This dangerous raging fire of love for my babies. Yet sometimes I have days that I’d like to just walk out the door and keep going. Days that I would just like to do what I want to do without thinking about anyone else in the world. Days when I wish that I had enjoyed those ‘carefree’ (though of course we never realise how little responsibility we had when we were younger until it’s too late!) years just a little bit more.