Women of valour!

Ladies coffee mornings, women’s Bible studies and books with pink flowery lettering ‘devotions for women’ on them have always made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Often these could be incredibly gender-stereptyped cringey-type things and so discomfort was probably justified, but I didn’t get the significance of women-only stuff. In the past I also would have added that I didn’t understand the importance of women-only spaces but since re-discovering feminism I get how important it is for women to be able to feel safe to talk, share difficult experiences or just be in places that men aren’t. Perhaps it is because we don’t have as many opportunities as western women to be in situations that men are usually largely absent from. We have been (mostly) liberated from being confined only to a domestic realm but in that we have also lost being ‘together by circumstance’ while the men went off to get the bacon and women were left holding the babies.

There are very few times as an adult that I have been in women-only spaces, whether by fortuity or intention, but I recently I’ve been part of a accidental book group that has been reading Rachel Held Evans’ book ‘A Year of Biblical Womanhood’. There are a few of us: not too many (otherwise we couldn’t properly be part of the same conversation at the same time) but not too few (that might be intimidating..!) 🙂 some of us have been friends for years, some of us just met, and we are fairly international bunch too (only one true Brit!) but from this some might say ‘random’ group of women something nothing-short-of beautiful and sacred has been created. The book allowed us to start from somewhere but to travel much further than we might have expected – like a diving board over the ocean. We have been able to trust each other enough to really share and explore things about ourselves, our lives, our families, and our faith that I don’t think I have ever felt able to do with a group of women. As different women in the group share their struggles, their questions, we each gain more confidence to share our own vulnerabilities, our own secret worries and hidden anxieties. As we talked into the night something bigger than us was at work, it felt almost tangible, a feeling in each of us that this was a safe place, this was a sacred place that we would not be judged or laughed at, but comforted, encouraged, given advice or wisdom, or just truly listened to. I can only name this intimacy as the Holy Spirit weaving and dancing in and through us… building us up, reminding us that we are not alone, connecting and inspiring us with each other – with who we are and who we are becoming.

Women of valour – you know who you are – thank you. Thank you so much for making me feel more human, for making me feel more alive, for listening and being vulnerable with me too. Since last Friday I have carried with me a deep thankfulness for the honour of being part of that little rag-tag group of wonderers, questioners, activists and artists that evening. Thank you women of valour – you are a blessing!

A dear friend and I were talking about how generally amazing it was on Friday and she was also introduced me to the wonderful Sara Groves. She said that she had a song in mind when thinking about our conversation… and I thought I’d post it here too: