I should (I have been trying not to use this word as life should not be full of ‘shoulds’ – but its been one of those days – you know, one of those days that you live like someone who doesn’t have many choices in life even though you do) be praying or asleep or something, but instead I have to write for 5 minutes just so that I might perhaps calm down or something.
23:49, I have until 23:54. Go.
DH and I are doing ‘Live Below the Line’ this week. We have £1 each per day for 5 days – the blurb: “Live Below the Line is a campaign that’s changing the way people think about poverty—and making a huge difference—by challenging everyday people to live on the equivalent of the extreme poverty line for 5 days.” See more at: https://www.livebelowtheline.com/uk
Today I’ve had in total: 3 cups of tea, 2 custard creams, bowl of plain porridge, 1 piece of toast with peanut butter, bowl of veg soup for lunch, quarter of a piece of flat bread and soup again for dinner. I’m not exactly full, but I’ve felt hungrier.
However, worse than not being able to put to kettle on whenever I want or just grazing throughout the day on what I fancy, has been living the day with my crazy self. I feel highly strung, but listless at the same time. I feel on the edge of anxiety but paralysed to do anything about the things that I am concerned about. (Being a weird home educator, a mad feminist, a cynical Christian, a questioning minister, an angry mama… the normal things.) Now, I’m not saying that the lack of honey on my porridge or sandwich made with two pieces of bread instead of one is the blame for this… but it definitely does not help. As I go to bed I am thinking about the fact that this is only Day 1… I’ve got 4 to go. I can’t be like this for 4 days… let’s hope its just me in a weird mood, or else by the end of the week I might have quit my job, sold our house and bought a big eco-tree house home in the middle of some exotic wonderland where I can walk on the beach with the kids every day and be at one with nature. Or something. Goodnight.
stumbling hopefully in the right direction 
be kind to yourself, love! prophetic people usually feel a lot of pressure. (yes, you are a prophet! you are trying to change the world, a little bit and all at once.) allow yourself grace for the bigness of your dreams and the size of your steps, because Both of those things are Beautiful. I’m inspired that you’re doing this, and too scared to follow suit 🙂
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Thank you Liz for your generous words and encouragement. 🙂
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